This is maybe a fiction work.
Or not.
I'll let you decide.
Dear Miss V.,
I know you remember me. You do, but pretended you didn’t when somebody asked if you knew me. Why did you do that? Were you trying to send me a non-subtle message reaffirming how insignificant I was to you? Well, it didn’t work. I didn’t get offended — and in fact, it amused me.
Let’s get to the facts first, to refresh both of our memories. You were my boss for 6 months when I was 23 years old. It was my first position as a ‘senior’ in a corporation, and, gosh, I was feeling pleased about that. In my view, I was ahead of my peers, and when you are young and insecure, those are the types of things that make you happy.
I remember, from day 1, noticing the heavy makeup you wore. I found it very pretty, to be honest, but I couldn’t help thinking you were a bit over-coated, like trying to hide behind a mask. With a master’s in a fancy university and a successful career, you were already an inspiration to me.
Until it started. To be honest, I wasn’t the one you were after. I was maybe a nuisance to you, somebody you hoped to ‘coach’ and inspire to boost your ego, perhaps. You were actually very bothered by my peer and friend. I don’t need to write her initial here because you know who I am talking about.
Friend (let’s just call her that way) was absolutely marvelous. No joke. I fell in love with her inspiring confidence, her beautiful ambition, and her easiness and carpe-diem mentality. She was -and still is — my idol.
I would absorb every single piece of personal and professional advice from her. How confident, elegant, and brilliant Friend was! If today I am one tiny little bit ambitious and classy, I can only attribute this to my observation and friendship with Friend.
She was terrific — and you knew it.
But the problem was she was catching the attention of important people in the company. And not romantically, of course, but professionally. While you had a difficult, grumpy, and hard reputation, she quickly became an ally to multiple groups, thriving through classy stakeholder management, great quality of work, and astonishing corporate posture.
In my six months reporting to you, I witnessed how you became increasingly sharp and aggressive with her, occasionally spilling your jealousy rage on other people, including myself.
Miss V, that was very painful to watch.
At 23, I didn’t know exactly what was happening, but 8 years and a lot of Simone de Beauvoir later, I learned how you were incapable of seeing past your own envy, and you really were trying to harm Friend.
Now, Friend obviously prevailed in the end. Right before I left, she was elevated to be your peer, and her influence in the company only escalated from there. She went for a stellar MBA, returning to a stellar job in another company 2 years later.
Meanwhile, you also left the original company, and — such are the coincidences of life — ended up in the company I was working for, 3 years later. You did have a good start there, but soon you were demoted from a people management position because of your aggressive behavior towards your subordinates.
When I heard about this, I decided to write this small letter. I wanted to ask you why you are so mean to people. When I was reporting to you and decided to leave, you got very upset. You told me I was inconsistent and that I would never get anywhere. Who on your sane mind tells this to a 23-year-old? And with what right? Not even my parents told me such a thing, and even when I deserved a harsher treatment, they were gracious with their criticism. Why you made a habit of spilling your bitterness in other people’s lives?
I am not angry in any way. I continue to be amused by your meanness. But honestly, I think it is a disservice to the female community what you are doing.
It’s now been almost 10 years since we met. And you went from a first-impression idol to one of the worst people I met in my career. Miss V, I hereby respectfully ask you to reconsider your actions. There are not many females in the corporate world. We should help each other. Sponsor each other. Grow together.
The other day someone asked me about you. I hesitated, but in the end, I responded, saying you were the best leader I had ever met. We have to break the cycle. Give each other second chances.
We do.
With love,
A — on behalf of the Committee of Women Mistreated by Fellow Women
